Applied Epistemology

Again, an email from a student irritates me:

This message is for from [name withheld] and [name withheld]. We are sorry for missing a few days of class but we had an emergency that needed to be taken care of..

"A few days" = three classes in a row

By the way, the class in question meets on Mondays and Wednesdays. Thus the state of emergency apparently stretched from March 26 to April 2. Maybe they live in Baghdad.

We will be in class next wednesday.. Can you please email me back because this is the second email that we are sending to you.

Suuuuure it is.

Can you please let us know of any assignments or things that need to be handed in until we get back...

All the work and due dates in this class are detailed on the course schedule handed out on the first day of class. We're on that schedule.

Also, the course syllabus has a sentence in bold print, which I orally emphasize on the first day: I do not accept late work.

We are deeply sorry for any inconvenience but we really had an emergency. Thank you...

"We dementedly embrace the bizarre hope that shameless lies written in a style imbibed from form-letter palaver will lead you to ignore the fact that we generally ignore you."

The next meeting is the midterm exam. How fitting.